Gradients For Growth

Blog

  • Complete Faith


    I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was the start of my second financial year at my past employer and they were in the midst of deep organizational change. The shifts were radical, as major long standing directors were being relieved of their roles. Deep down I knew that changes in my neck of the woods were underway and whether I was ready or not it was coming.

    This was my first ever corporate role. The growing pains were terrible. Despite my skillset, I had to learn how to manage up and perform in a wider arena. What made this even harder was that the managers God placed in my life to steward my talent quite frankly failed to do so well. I was plagued with anxiety because of their unpredictability and how condescending they were with their psychological tricks that often left me winded and questioning my own value and ability.

    The  organizational changes that trickled down at first were subtle. In an effort to not relieve any staff,  a mere consolidation of our teams happened but I could tell it was a temporary hold and a redundancy would be next. I was absolutely unprepared and it terrified me.  After a quick analysis I had an inclination it would be me as everyone on my team had been there for over a decade. I was the newest hire and cheapest cut. This was November of 2023.

    Earlier in April of that same year, I got the keys to my first true big girl purchase after renting for years and I loved it. However, as a single young woman the cost of homeownership, furnishing, insurance etc was a lot and I was not prepared any sudden financial changes.

    I was extremely nervous but proactive. I saved, cleared loans, kept my car and reduced my expenses as best as I could. I sought expertise for going into business and applied for roles at two other leading organizations but they did not hire me as they assumed that  they couldn’t match my salary. This brought me even deeper into fear.

    In that moment, I decided to surrender even more to God. I was prepared to hand back the keys He handed me. I was prepared to relocate but had no idea when. As I kept working, I kept looking for cheaper apartments that I could comfortably afford. I exhausted every option. I asked friends to keep a lookout, found realtors and even went as far as packing my things up without knowing where I would be nor by when. Then, by August 5th 2024 it clicked to me, to give my father’s tenant who had been at my family house for seven years notice. I gave him two months.

    On August 14th, after the Paris Olympics when my boss got back to Jamaica, I was given two weeks notice. It was the first item on her agenda. The feedback from the panel was that I was so calm but I expressed that I saw it coming. I had already done so much worrying and grieving that when I was faced with the reality of it, I was ready as I was armed with God.

    Immediately after the news, I started the handover process at work and begun preparing for my apartment for viewings. By September 1st , my home was listed and after 13 viewings with my realtor, we made a selection of the tenant for the upcoming lease which started in October.

    I resumed applying for roles as I moved from my home and quickly went through the interview process. In the background, as I was preparing to move  back into my family home after 9 years, there was a whole lot to be done. The tenant absolutely wrecked the space. However, after the shock wore off I realized that I truly enjoyed the process of rehabilitation and renovating the space. This was a love that grew the more I repaired but had truthfully started long before.

    God used the unfortunate event of the redundancy to redirect me to a deeper passion of interior design outside of my corporate skills. He taught me that “girl-bossing” could look absolutely different without half the pressure and nice-nasty behavior of the corporate space. That I could use my project management skills to create visions, plan and execute gorgeous spaces as I develop in this area of expertise. God gave me the breathing room and clarity to flesh out my business, build my skillset and gave me the capital to pour into my dreams.


    As for the home renovation? In the three weeks after the previous tenant left, I repaired three bathrooms, landscaped, installed home security, repaired old underground pipes and upgraded the space. Then, towards the latter end of October I was granted my immigrant visa to live in the States with my family after 9 years apart. 

    Whew.

    As I reflect, especially on 2024 (which honestly feels like two years in one) all I can see is the hand  of God on my life. I see where God is an on-time God and that  He makes no mistakes. How can I not surrender my life to Him after He proved time and time again that all I need to do is surrender and he would always provide?

    I did none of this alone. Along the journey, He has placed the right people in my life at the right time.

    When I was first made redundant  countless people asked how was I so calm. I had no idea what God was doing but even in the midst of the unkown.. I had complete faith that all would be well and all would be restored. 

    In what ways have God showed up for you when you least expected it?

  • Honoring the Journey: Testimony


    Finding a new identity in Christ.


    As I type this, I must admit that I am in utter shock at the fact that it has been almost six years since I got baptized. My journey to Christ has been rather colourful to say the least, but it has been nothing short of a love story.

     In Jamaica, Christianity is woven into the culture. It’s integrated in schools, our National Anthem, Pledge and school mottos. We also have devotions before the start of our classes. So on every level of education, excluding tertiary, there was God.

    My earliest recollection of speaking to God outside of my nightly prayers with my mother and pre-meal blessings, was when I was about 5 years old. I prayed and God answered. Clear as day.

    The second time was when I got frustrated third-wheeling an old family friend as we trekked up Dunn’s River Falls when I was nine. The guide was flirting with her and I was pretty much ignored as I struggled to climb the slippery rocks along the falls. In my frustration, I decided to head back down, passing everyone that was hand locked helping each other up. As I made my descent, my foot slipped on a mossy, slimy rock. The fall was sudden. Everyone stopped and gasped in complete shock at what happened. The only thing I glimpsed before impact was the heavy river pressure crashing down the precipice into the sea several feet below me.

     I slipped on the precipice of Dunn’s River Falls and lived. I knew by all logic and the laws of gravity that I should’ve died but I felt a force external to me.. move me. I was left with a few thin scratches on my knee from slipping on the rock and felt an ache on arm on the side of which I fell. I was confused and the entire way back home, I replayed the event over and over. “Was that God?” My curiosity in Him as my protector and guide grew even deeper. 


    Obeying the Call to Christ

    The first time I was called to Christ was when I was 16 years old, several years after this event.  There was an altar call at church and I was with my mother. By this time, I had been through quite a bit in high school. I went through bullying, searching for identity, you know..the full pubescent experience. I felt God calling me to the altar and as I got up to obey His call I felt my mother gently grasp my hand, suggesting that I don’t go. After discussing the reason why some time after, she shared that she thought that I was going to give my life to Christ, because it was what she wanted. She was concerned that I hadn’t just yet lived a ‘real life’ to fully understand the commitment I was making. This was my mother, a faithful servant of God -so I agreed. 

    In my attempt to ensure I was making the best decision spiritually, I found myself years later swept away by the digging- “trying on” different beliefs and getting caught in the web of new age teachings. My understanding of Christ at this point was still surface level but my convictions were strong. As a result of this, I wanted to force Christ into these practices and beliefs about the “Universe”, New Moon Rituals, Crystal Cleansing,  and ‘Ital Healing’. I thought that God was some abstract practice I had to search for instead of a relationship I could build organically.
     
    The Travels that Brought Me Closer

    I fully came to Christ while living in Asia, and despite loving the people, food and culture.. a part of me was sad when all the practices, explorations and teachings I was diving into about Buddhism didn’t exactly reflect in their society. While I loved the thoughtfulness and outpour of kindness I received from them, I felt a disconnect with the societal issues they faced. The profound nuances that reflected in thousands ending their lives or choosing to live in isolation. I found this to be unbiblical. I noticed that they did not have the spiritual comfort or peace and instead had a longing for “reincarnation” or a complete and final end.

    A bit controversial? Perhaps, but this is from the perspective of a Caribbean woman who knows and felt the true joy of being in Christ and seeing that reflected in society. Witnessing this contrast so intimately created a shift in me, causing me to dive deeper in my relationship with Christ. Seeking God-fearing communities, bible studies and finally making one of the biggest spiritual decisions of making Christ my Lord and Savior.

    Since then, I have known no deeper joy. I have come to accept that everything in this life has directed me back to Him. I went through the (sometimes painful) shedding of family and friends, practices, places and have learned to rely on God and His mercy.

    I am still a child in Christ, but I hope that through our shared experiences we can commune and grow together.

    With this I ask you, what is your testimony? In what ways have you grown in Christ? And finally, will you journey with me?